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Post by Firecracker on Nov 4, 2011 12:39:33 GMT -5
Upon hearing this, Fire sat straight up. It was almost as if Wraith had managed to find away into her head, find out everything she had ever felt, and pass those words off as her own. "That's why some secrets have to be kept," she responded calmly. "They're eat at you from the inside or the outside no matter what. It's just a matter of knowing when to pick and choose your battles."
She exhaled slowly, nervously biting on her lower lip. Did that give away too much?
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Wraith
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A bundle of broken nerves, a mouth full of words I'm still afraid to say
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Post by Wraith on Nov 4, 2011 12:43:39 GMT -5
Wraith stared at her, fascinated. Their conversation was more like a dance, tiptoeing around some topic that neither of them could actually mention by name. But it couldn't be the same topic. Could it? "You have to know who to trust," she said slowly. "My brother's really good at that. He can spend a little time with someone and figure out their angle on anything. I wish I could do that. Then I'd...I'd always know how much to say."
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Post by Firecracker on Nov 4, 2011 12:51:32 GMT -5
"Well, I wish I had his skill too, then," Fire replied with a shrug. Times like these, she wished that she could just place a firm hand over her mouth to keep the words from just falling out the way they currently were. It was only a matter of time before she began to give herself away, and she knew it.
"This is where we differ, I suppose," she finally replied after a lengthy pause. "I can't tell the person I trust the most simply because it's hard to tell how this... person... would react. I'd rather not lose what I have now for the sake of getting things off of my chest." She paused, briefly considering her words again, as if she could even take them back anyway. "I'd rather suffer from the inside than in front of the world."
Besides, what do you do when the person you trust is also the very same person that you've got romantic feelings for?
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Wraith
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A bundle of broken nerves, a mouth full of words I'm still afraid to say
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Post by Wraith on Nov 4, 2011 13:48:44 GMT -5
Wraith mulled that over for a while. "I-I guess the problem is that if you keep secrets from the person you trust...after a while, they don't trust you anymore. They know there's something you're not telling them, and they're hurt. They wonder why. So even though you hold back because you don't want things to change, things start changing anyway."
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Post by Firecracker on Nov 4, 2011 13:54:07 GMT -5
"You know, if I had a diary, I would have to ask you if you were reading it," Fire remarked with a sigh. As much as she didn't want to admit it, Wraith's words held more weight to them than she probably realized when it came to Fire's current situation with Nevada.
"I keep getting asked if I'm going to leave again," she remarked. "No matter how many times I promise that I'm not leaving again, I still get asked." Slowly, she shook her head. "How is it that you know exactly what to say to make me feel like you understand?"
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Wraith
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A bundle of broken nerves, a mouth full of words I'm still afraid to say
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Post by Wraith on Nov 4, 2011 16:03:10 GMT -5
"I don't know," Wraith said with an embarrassed smile. "I was going to ask you the same thing." She fiddled with a stray strand of hair. "So...why did you leave the first time?" Immediately after asking, she cursed herself for it. They'd already both made it clear that they didn't feel comfortable talking in specifics.
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Post by Firecracker on Nov 4, 2011 17:58:28 GMT -5
"Because I didn't want to do anything stupid," Fire explained with a shrug. "I knew staying would only complicate things and that I would only get hurt."
She paused briefly, a sad look taking over her face. "I didn't think she'd care," she added, her voice a soft whisper.
It took a moment,but one she realized what, exactly, she had let slip from her lips, she was mortified. There was no way that Wraith didn't hear that. "I should go."
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Wraith
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A bundle of broken nerves, a mouth full of words I'm still afraid to say
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Post by Wraith on Nov 4, 2011 20:28:43 GMT -5
"Don't!" Wraith said quickly, her head whirling. She'd heard what Fire said, she wanted to believe that it meant what she thought it meant, but she was also very much afraid that she'd been sad and lonely and desperate for too long, that she was deluding herself into believing that someone else shared her secret. Nevertheless, the words came stuttering out before she could stop them. "The...the reason I've been up upset...the person who doesn't want to be with me anymore...it's a girl," she blurted out, squeezing her eyes shut.
Fire was the second person she'd ever told, but this time was worse. Much worse. She was so scared and dismayed that she couldn't even move. What was she thinking? She had to be wrong about this. And it could only make things worse.
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Post by Firecracker on Nov 4, 2011 20:34:01 GMT -5
Fire froze, her head tilting inquisitively to the side. I'm not the only one? She couldn't tell if this was going to be a blessing or a curse in the long run, but she knew one thing -- she couldn't possibly abandon her new friend after an admission such as that.
She chewed on her lower lip and dropped back down beside the other girl, gently taking her hand. "I'm sorry," she sympathized, giving Wraith's hand a small squeeze. "You... um.... Wow, this is going to sound odd since I barely know you but... you didn't deserve that."
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Wraith
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A bundle of broken nerves, a mouth full of words I'm still afraid to say
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Post by Wraith on Nov 4, 2011 20:38:53 GMT -5
Wraith slowly looked up at her, shaking. "It wasn't her fault," she murmured. "She, uh...lost someone close to her...her grandmother...and she wasn't doing that well, and I don't think she's really ready for, uh...a relationship or anything..." She blinked and stopped babbling when she remembered exactly what she was babbling about. "You...you don't seem horrified," she said, her voice trailing off into a whisper as she looked down at Fire's hand in hers.
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Post by Firecracker on Nov 4, 2011 20:42:02 GMT -5
"Me? Horrified?" Fire asked, her forehead wrinkling. She swallowed hard, her shoulders simply lifting up in a small shrug. "Do you want me to be horrified?"
She paused and reached forward, lightly placing her hand on the other girl's shoulder. "I guess.... I guess it's because it feels good to not be as alone as I thought."
((I have to head to work, but I'm bringing my laptop with me. I should be back in about a half hour!! <3))
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Wraith
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Post by Wraith on Nov 4, 2011 20:50:06 GMT -5
((Ok! <3))
Wraith's eyes widened. So she had been right. She wasn't crazy. Not when it came to this, anyway. Her shoulders slumped as the tension drained out of her whole body. "So you...you're really..." A small, shaky smile appeared on her face. "Wow." She tried to get past the surreal stage and remember everything they'd been talking about. "I-I'm sorry about your friend. You don't think she'd understand?" Wraith would generally be inclined toward pessimism too, but she remembered how accepting Tristan and Script had been.
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Post by Firecracker on Nov 4, 2011 21:08:27 GMT -5
Fire looked up at Wraith and nodded slowly. "I am, yeah... I never thought I'd be admitting that to anyone, let alone myself, but I am."
"Would Nev understand? Well, I... I really don't know," she replied, her eyes briefly glancing down at their hands. Reluctantly, he let go of the other girl's hands. "But she's married now, has a family. I just don't want to ruin anything for her." She sighed, her eyes closing for a moment. "She's happy, why should I ruin that?" As serious as this conversation was, she couldn't help but finally feel a little bit relieved. Maybe Wraith was right -- it was good to tell your secrets sometimes.
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Wraith
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A bundle of broken nerves, a mouth full of words I'm still afraid to say
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Post by Wraith on Nov 4, 2011 21:18:53 GMT -5
Nevada. She's in love with Nevada. Wraith finally put all the pieces together, and her eyes grew even wider. The girl she loved and the girl Fire loved lived in the same apartment. It really was a small world.
"It...it might not ruin anything," she said tentatively. "It might just...help her understand. You know...why you act the way you do. And...maybe help you move on," she suggested gently. She knew it had to hurt, but there clearly wasn't much Fire could do except move on. If Wraith had learned anything from all the time she'd spent with Tristan's family, it was that he and Nevada were devoted to each other and to their kids. Poor Fire didn't have a chance.
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Post by Firecracker on Nov 4, 2011 21:27:23 GMT -5
"I would honestly rather not say anything to her at all," Fire insisted stubbornly, her head shaking quickly. "The less she knows about this, the better. I know maybe it sounds cruel to keep such a thing from the person who is supposed to be my best friend, but it's honestly for the better. By telling her, I'd risk either losing her entirely or she'd feel bad for me and I don't want either of those things."
She lifted her eyes up at the sky, her gaze falling upon the lightly twinkling stars. "As far as she's concerned, I'm happy with Jonathan." Oy, Jonathan. That was a completely different story.
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