Never mind a single word I said. (Closed)

[Sapphy]

It was the next day and Sapphy was up long before the wake-up call. The curse of drinking the night before always ended with Sapphy not having a hangover, but only able to get in three hours of sleep.

She tiptoed out of the dark room and crept down the stairs.

Sapphy was embarrassed for not only losing her temper last night, but showing Race her weak point. She showed a poker player her cards.

The sun wasn't even up yet as she made her way across the bridge. She had no idea where the Brooklyn newsies stayed, but she knew he'd be there.

[Racetrack]

Race hadn't slept at all and really wasn't in good shape by any standards. One of his best friends was raped and stabbed and lost a baby last night, he'd somehow managed to help rescue her while still half-drunk, and since then, he'd been helping Freddy explain matters, promote calm, and boost morale among the Brooklyn newsies, since Spot and Tristan were at the hospital with Rae.

He'd all but forgotten Sapphy getting angry. Though he had wished multiple times that their night had ended in cuddling instead of, dear God, all this.

He was heading out to the docks to finally steal a few minutes to himself when he saw a figure approaching, and his hand was actually going for a hidden knife he'd only just started carrying before he recognized Sapphy. "Hey," he said with a tired smile.

[Sapphy]

"Hey," Sapphy said, stopping about three feet in front of him. She had heard about what happened with Raven right before she went to bad. It felt like it had been a nightmare.

The wind was the only sound that passed between them for a few moments as Sapphy stared at Race sadly.

[Racetrack]

She knew. It was all over her face. He'd spent the whole night convincing twelve-year-olds that everything was going to be all right, but he wasn't about to try that line on Sapphy. Did she even know Raven? Her face told him yes.

"The...the doctors think she'll be all right. Spot's still with her. I've...been here," he added, stating the obvious, and motioning at the lodging house. "Are you all right?" It seemed like a strange question, but she looked...well, like he felt. It made him want to hold her, or be held by her, but he just stared blearily out at the river.

[Sapphy]

Sapphy was about to cry. She had pride about crying in front of others -- she was not an angelic crier, she looked ugly.

She swallowed and looked out over the water instead.

Nothing seemed important anymore.

[Racetrack]

Race rested his hand on one of the posts Spot liked to perch on to look down at his kingdom. He ended up leaning half his weight against it. "She lost a baby," he said, hardly knowing what he was saying. "I didn't even know she was pregnant."

[Sapphy]

Sapphy didn't know that part.

She crossed her arms protectively, tightly, over her chest and looked straight up -- willing her tears to remain back. Her eyelashes were starting to get wet as she finally looked back at Race.

[Racetrack]

He didn't seem to notice her for a few moments--he might even have dozed off--but then he shook his head, straightened up, and looked back at her. "She'll get through it. Not soon, I know that, but...she's Raven," he said, as if that fact alone were reassuring. "I've known her since...I don't even know. Since Brooklyn." He wanted some kind of physical contact with Sapphy so much it hurt, but he couldn't bring himself to actually touch her. If she pulled back, he didn't think he could take it right now. "You know her too, right?" he asked gently instead.

[Sapphy]

Sapphy's jaw tightened and her brow finally started to crumble. She nodded and covered her mouth with the heel of her hand. She couldn't look at Race right now. Her eyes darted away again.

[Racetrack]

At this point, his hand actually went out to her involuntarily, but he stopped it before he reached her back, and it just hovered there as he stammered out, "Would it...would it help if I..."

((Alas, bedtime! ONE more day till wireless and my own room again! Also, I feel so bad for both of them right now. ))

[Sapphy]

Sapphy looked up at him, eyes red. She nodded and slowly leaned into his fingers.

((Sweet dreams, toots!))

[Racetrack]

He put an arm around her and just held onto her, not the way he'd fantasized about holding her before all this happened, but like one of them was drowning and the other was a raft, though he wasn't sure which was which. What could he possibly say except I don't know why this happened and I wish it didn't? Oh, and I noticed she was gone, and I should've known, I could've maybe stopped this.

[Sapphy]

Sapphy sniffled into Race's neck, hiding her face. Her fingers curled tightly, possessively into the front of his shirt.

She suddenly couldn't stop. She was crying for Raven and Spot and the baby they'd never meet. She cried for Kennedy and Mikey and for Mikey's mother. She cried for Race for having to see all of this. She cried for her family who she missed so much.

But mostly she cried because all of this left her feeling so disempowered.

[Racetrack]

Race wrapped his arms around her and held her closer, his face buried in her shoulder, partly to comfort her and partly because with her crying, there was no way in hell he was going to be able to hold back. He squeezed his eyes shut, but the tears ran out anyway, so apparently they were both drowning. But he wiped them away with one hand and just whispered, "I know," and thought about Raven and Spot and Brooklyn, and some small, selfish corner of his mind even thought about unrequited love. But it didn't really matter right now, because at least Sapphy was here. Here and safe and sharing his grief, which was all he could possibly ask for.

[Sapphy]

"I'm sorry," Sapphy whispered, hands shaking.