More you are with me the more that I'm alone. (C)

[Racetrack]

And this was one of those times when being in love with her was so damn inconvenient, because he wanted so desperately to be the person she could relax with, who could hold her and make her clamoring thoughts be still and peaceful, who could make her laugh, dance, want to live, look forward to the future and never wish for death again.

But that was impossibly stupid, and he knew it. No one person could be that person. No one could control Sapphy's thoughts or reach out a finger and lift up her mood whenever it took a plunge. He didn't know how to help her, and that knowledge was like a knife in the gut. He could only do the smallest possible thing. "Look...let's go home. We can talk there. Or just go to bed. We can do whatever you want, just...please don't walk away."

[Sapphy]

Sapphy looked near tears as she pulled her hands away from her face. Now Race knew everything, except... "Those ten dollars I owe to Kennedy's gran? The police were called when I swallowed those pills. They were gonna take me away and she bribed them to leave me alone. There. Now you know everything about me, Race. Everything. I told you I was too much work."

[Racetrack]

Race actually gave it serious thought before he argued with her. What if she was always volatile like this, despairing one day, angry the next, with only interludes of happiness and playfulness? What if she did try again, once or ten times or twenty times, and he found himself trying to talk her down again and again? Could he deal with that--being a friend to her, being whatever she needed, even when he couldn't figure out what that was? It might be exhausting, he knew, and so risky and uncertain...

Every one of his friends was exhausting. His whole life was based on risk and uncertainty. And Sapphy had those happy interludes, and when she did, there was no one he would rather be with...and even when she didn't, he could talk to her about anything. Anything. Things that weren't lighthearted or simple, things that made him look like a fool, things that didn't make sense, even to him, he could make sense of them with her. And that made it worth it. She'd always be worth it. He'd pay Kennedy's gran a bonus if he could.

"You're not too much work," he said, looking her in the eye. "You're a damn good friend, whether you know it or not, and I need you, all right? Not 'cause I feel sorry for you or 'cause I'm in love with you. I need you, in my life, as a friend. I know everything now, and that's the verdict. So please come home with me, Sapph."

[Sapphy]

Tears spilled over Sapphy's eyes. If she weren't so messed up right now, she'd hug Racetrack and never let go.

"Will-- Will you hold my hand?" she asked, sounding like a little girl.

[Racetrack]

He took her hand and held it like he'd never let go, which was pretty much the message he wanted to convey. It was such a relief just to feel it in his, smooth and warm and safe. This was why it didn't matter to him in the end, he thought, all the ups and downs--it only took the smallest possible thing to make him happy.

He put his hand on her arm for a second, just a quick gesture of comfort, and then walked off with her toward the bridge.

[Sapphy]

Sapphy sniffled next to Race the entire walk, wiping at her eyes and keeping her head down, ashamed.

[Copper]

Copper was returning from a short stint at Sharkey's in Brooklyn. Being there made him feel far too guilty to really indulge himself when he knew Shaye was still out there somewhere.

The cold night air was clearing his head and he sighed. He'd been back a week and made no progress. As he tried to contemplate where to stay for the night, he squinted, looking up ahead on the bridge... He'd know that shade of strawberry-blonde anywhere.

He took off in a dead sprint, taking everything in: A boy was with her, they were holding hands.

She was crying.

Without slowing down, he shoved the boy as hard as he could; hard enough for his hand to be ripped apart from Sapphy's.

"HEY BUDDY!" Copper said in a way that showed he was not his buddy at all. "WHY IS SHE CRYING?" he demanded, pointing at Sapphy, then to Racetrack.

[Sapphy]

It all happened so fast. She wasn't sure quite what happened, but she'd recognize that thick Irish brogue anywhere. She turned slowly, eyes huge.

[Racetrack]

Race crashed into the bridge railing and was so paranoid with Brooklyn flashbacks for a moment that he was ready to push his attacker right off the bridge. Then he registered the boy's question, and looked from him to Sapphy. "Why is she...Sapph, do you know this guy?"

[Sapphy]

"You're a right bastard, you know that?" Sapphy sobbed -- a little Irish coming out as she said it -- and a huge smile was on her face. She threw herself at the boy, and he took her into his arms lifting her off the ground and holding her tight.

It was all she needed right now.

[Copper]

Copper showered her face with kisses and held her close, fingers digging deep and possessively into her hair.

He never thought he'd see her again.

[Racetrack]

Race watched this whole display in total wordless befuddlement. His first thought was that one of Sapphy's Brooklyn flings was not quite as emotionless as she'd led him to believe. His second thought was that the guy was a redhead. And Irish. And there was a distinct resemblance...oh. OH. What. What!?

"Um." He cleared his throat a little. "Hi."

[Copper]

Copper looked up, meeting Racetrack's eyes coldly.

"Why're you crying?" he repeated his question to Sapphy this time, voice dangerously soft -- the same kind of softness that came into Sapphy's voice right before she blew her stack.

[Sapphy]

"It's me. Same reason I'm always crying, don't look at him like that." Sapphy's face was still buried into her brother's chest and she couldn't see his face. "This is Racetrack, be nice. I like him," Sapphy said shakily into Copper's ear; it sounded like she wasn't sure to laugh or cry.

[Racetrack]

Race was still staring at them with the expression of someone who does not grasp what the hell is going on. "Is this..." he started, looking at Sapphy, then, turning to the mystery guy, "are you..." Finally he settled on Sapphy. "Is he...Kevin? Kevin your brother who ain't written in eight months?"